Bella Ramsey is getting brutally honest about how complicated gender can feel.
The Last of Us star, who publicly came out as non-binary in early 2023 and uses they/them pronouns, says they’re “sad” about not feeling connected to femininity anymore. In a new interview with Louis Theroux for the season five premiere of The Louis Theroux Podcast, Bella dives deep into their non-binary identity, saying the whole journey has been confusing, emotional, and at times isolating.
They admitted that when they try to avoid being perceived as a woman in daily life, exploring anything remotely feminine feels like it “doesn’t serve their purpose.” That disconnect leaves them feeling emotionally stuck. “I guess at the moment I don’t feel like I have access to femininity,” Bella explained. “I feel a bit like sad about that sometimes, but I think it’s also a journey.”
Growing up, Bella says their identity was always a little different from what people expected. “To be honest, I grew up more as a little boy than I did a little girl,” they told Theroux. “I always felt more masculine or more on that side of the spectrum. I always called myself a tomboy, but it wasn’t that I was a boyish girl, I was always like a bit of an in-between. Leaning most of the boys’ side.”
Despite knowing since childhood that they didn’t fully identify as a girl, Bella said they used to resist the non-binary label. “I rejected that word for so long, by the way, because I didn’t want it to be trendy.” But eventually, they came to accept it as the most accurate way to describe their experience. Still, the emotional weight of trying to avoid being seen as a woman means certain expressions, like exploring femininity, feel off-limits.
When Louis asked what exactly made them sad, Bella responded, “Like the idea of femininity being something that I think is so beautiful, but me not feeling like I have any access to it at the moment.” They clarified it’s not a total rejection of femininity, but more about how it fits into their identity. “It’s femininity within the structure of masculinity,” they said, pointing to public figures like Harry Styles wearing dresses as examples of men embracing feminine energy without being women. “I suppose. I don’t know. I feel like it’s now just words that don’t mean anything.”
Bella also revealed they’ve been watching a lot of gender-critical researchers and content creators, people who question the existence of transgender identities or promote more traditional gender roles. Surprisingly, they said it’s not about hate-watching but about trying to stay open-minded and informed. “I’ve tried to do a lot of research from both sides,” Bella said. “I’ve been watching a lot of gender-critical researchers and people talking about the opposite end of the spectrum, being transgender doesn’t exist.”
The content, they admit, sometimes shakes them. “I find it a bit scary and there’s an element of that makes me question everything,” they told Theroux. “But I can’t deny how I have felt all my life and how other people that I know have felt like all their lives. It is a real thing. It just is.”
They emphasized that they’re not watching this stuff out of anger or spite. “I’m watching it with an open mind and a really critical eye, critically thinking about it all,” Bella explained. “I’m watching it to try and understand and to try and be more secure in my own beliefs. And to know why I believe what I do. Not just believing something because it’s the thing that a lot of people might believe.”
It’s clear Bella’s journey is still unfolding, and they’re doing the emotional work it takes to understand who they are. With their trademark honesty and self-awareness, they’re showing that gender isn’t always black and white, it’s messy, it’s evolving, and it’s deeply personal.
You can listen to the full episode of The Louis Theroux Podcast now on Spotify and all major platforms.
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