Courtney B. Vance is opening up about the secret to his nearly 30-year marriage with Angela Bassett, and it’s way simpler than you might expect.
The actor shared the inside scoop exclusively with PEOPLE while attending the world premiere of Disney’s new live-action movie Lilo & Stitch on May 17 in Los Angeles. According to the 65-year-old star, it all comes down to one key rule: “When my wife is happy, the land is happy.”
Vance’s approach is straightforward-he always checks in with Angela to see what works for her. If it doesn’t, then they don’t do it. “I just try to [go], ‘Does this work for you, baby?’ It doesn’t work … we’re not doing that,” he says. This simple philosophy of mutual respect and honest communication seems to be the glue that keeps their relationship strong after all these years. Vance emphasizes the importance of each partner being open about their feelings and thoughts, especially when it comes to major decisions. “You have to talk about [it] and figure out which way … [you] want to go,” he adds.
The story of how Courtney and Angela met goes back decades. The pair first crossed paths as graduate students at Yale’s drama school in the early 1980s. But their romance didn’t really kick off until years later in New York City when they randomly bumped into each other again. Bassett recalled this moment in a 2007 Oprah interview, saying, “I didn’t run into Courtney again until 1994. I was out with some friends, and he was too. It was like, ‘Hey! Great to see you’.”
What really sealed the deal for Angela was their first kiss, which she described vividly in their joint 2007 book, Friends: A Love Story. “I got pinpricks and chills up the back of my thighs and across my butt, up my neck, and across my scalp,” she wrote. That kind of chemistry was impossible to ignore. They tied the knot in 1997 and later welcomed fraternal twins Bronwyn Golden and Slater Josiah in 2006.
Fast forward to today, their twins are now 19 and just finished their freshman year of college. Vance shared that both Bronwyn and Slater are exploring their own paths-with a lot of film work mixed in. “My daughter may major in film with sociology. And my son’s doing a lot of different things … doing plays, doing films, doing camera work,” he explained. As any good parent would, Courtney and Angela just want their kids to find what makes them happy, whether that’s inside the entertainment world or outside of it. “I just want them to be happy, as does my wife. If it’s in the business, [if] it’s not-just find something that makes you get up in the morning,” he added.
And what about their kids thinking they’re “cool”? Courtney gave a relatable answer: “We’re usually just parents. But when we’re on the [red] carpet, we are very cool. So yes, we go in and out of being cool, which is cool.”
Beyond family life, Courtney B. Vance is keeping busy with his upcoming role in Disney’s Lilo & Stitch, which hits theaters May 23. The live-action remake of the classic animated film is already generating buzz, and Vance’s fans will get to see him bring a new dimension to this beloved story.
Through it all, it’s clear that Courtney B. Vance’s marriage secret isn’t some flashy, complicated formula-it’s just respect, honest communication, and making sure Angela Bassett is happy. That simple but powerful mindset has helped them thrive for almost three decades, proving that sometimes, the best advice really is the easiest to follow.
