The Winds of Winter: Will George R.R. Martin Beat Eternity?
Will winter ever come? Or is the only snowstorm we’ll experience the perpetual blizzard of excuses from the author himself?
The Real Game of Thrones: Procrastination
Martin, famously known for his meticulous world-building and sudden character deaths, has created a new kind of drama: the endless wait. “It’s coming,” Martin reassured fans in a 2024 interview, presumably while surrounded by drafts of unrelated projects and scripts for TV adaptations. But many fans wonder if the man is playing a more intricate game of chess with Father Time than with his fictional characters.
In a twist worthy of a George R.R. Martin plotline, some fans suspect the author is deliberately stalling to outlive all deadlines. “It’s genius,” says a long-time follower on Reddit. “If you never finish the story, you never get criticized for the ending. The man might be playing 4D chess.”
Brandon Sanderson on Speed Dial?
As fans debate the likelihood of Martin finishing the series, the name Brandon Sanderson frequently pops up as a potential savior. Known for his ability to churn out novels faster than Daenerys could yell “Dracarys,” Sanderson has been suggested as a ghostwriter. When asked about this possibility, Martin reportedly chuckled, saying, “Who needs Brandon Sanderson when I’ve got an army of angry fans to keep me motivated?”
However, Martin has yet to share those “copious notes” he claims to have written. Are they real, or are they stored in the same vault where Gendry’s rowing secrets reside?
Money: The Real Iron Throne?
Some argue that Martin’s vast wealth from the success of HBO’s Game of Thrones has dulled his motivation to finish the series. Why slog through another 1,500-page novel when you can oversee prequels, sequels, and spin-offs? Critics note that Martin’s schedule is busier than Westeros’s Small Council, with side projects like House of the Dragon and his personal blog posts about football.
“He’s clearly in his retirement arc,” one fan joked on Twitter. “But instead of tending a farm, he’s tending an empire of adaptations.”
Theories, Theories Everywhere
Fans have flooded forums with wild theories about the delay. Some suggest Martin is stuck in an endless loop of rewriting, while others believe he’s waiting for AI technology to write the final chapters. A particularly bold theory claims Martin has already finished the book but locked it away, using it as leverage in case humanity ever needs to rally together.
“What if he’s keeping The Winds of Winter as a trump card for world peace?” one fan mused. “Release the book, and global harmony ensues.”
Should We Just Accept the HBO Ending?
For fans still recovering from the divisive ending of HBO’s Game of Thrones, the idea of treating it as canon is laughable. “If that’s the real ending,” said one disgruntled fan, “then Jon Snow walking into the wilderness symbolizes us walking away from the series.”
Others, however, have begun to make peace with the possibility. “Maybe the TV show is like the cliffs notes,” said a hopeful optimist. “It’s better than nothing… I guess?”
Winter May Never Come, But Memes Will
If nothing else, the ongoing saga of The Winds of Winter has gifted us countless memes. From “Winter is Coming” turned into “Winter is Delayed” to jokes about Martin’s notorious hat, the internet has found endless ways to cope with the wait.
One popular meme features Martin sitting on a throne of unfinished manuscripts, captioned, “The real Iron Throne is made of deadlines.”
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