In today’s episode of wait, is this real life, a House Republican just proposed a bill to buy Greenland and rename it Red, White and Blueland.
No, this isn’t an Onion headline. Yes, we are fully living in a simulation.
What’s Happening?
Rep. Earl Buddy Carter dropped a two-page bill (because who needs details) called the Red, White and Blueland Act of 2025. It would authorize President Trump to negotiate with Denmark for the purchase of Greenland and, of course, officially rename it.
Every U.S. government map and document would have to call it Red, White and Blueland like it’s some kind of theme park. Because apparently, Greenland wasn’t American enough.
Why This Matters
- It’s part of a bigger GOP push for a new era of American expansionism.
- Greenland and Denmark have already said no, multiple times.
- The bill comes alongside other wild proposals, like renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America and re-purchasing the Panama Canal.
Because nothing says America is back like renaming bodies of water and buying giant ice-covered land masses.
What They’re Saying
Buddy Carter is all in on the idea, saying:
America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White and Blueland.
He called it a national security priority and said that Trump, the Negotiator-in-Chief, will get it done. Denmark, meanwhile, is just collectively sighing.
Greenland’s Response: Absolutely Not
Greenland’s leaders have shut this down before, and they’re shutting it down again. Denmark’s Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen previously called the idea absurd.
Greenland itself is also passing a bill to ban foreign political donations, probably because they don’t want American billionaires influencing their elections amid all this takeover talk.
What’s Next?
Most likely, this bill goes nowhere because, again, Greenland and Denmark do not want to be part of this. But in an election year, expect to hear a lot more about Trump’s vision of a bigger America.
Also, stay tuned for the next GOP rebranding idea. Maybe Freedom France or Bald Eagle Bay?
What do you think? Would Red, White and Blueland be the most American name ever, or is this just peak political theater? Sound off below.
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